<%@LANGUAGE="JAVASCRIPT" CODEPAGE="1252"%> this girl's got nothin and she wears her heart on her wrist

2004/01/22

MOVED

finally. byee enigmatic-rose.blogspot.com
MOVED

finally.

2004/01/15

im thru with wishing stars. sooooo thru with them.

2004/01/12

sigghhhhhhhhhhh.
today so not a good day. gonna flunk e math terribly. n there's pple sayin the pple too easy.*bumps head against the wall-dumb u dumb u dumb u dumb u dumb u.
yeps, and my mouth got me into trouble again. whatssss new.
and tmr/ss and his. I CANT STUDY. sigh anyways, its no use

arrrgh.
i just really wish pple wld just leave me alone. i know im not what i can be. but what do they know abt what i can be anyways? arrrgh.
and im startin to hate my entire class right now beneath all thngs.

someone shooooooot me.

2004/01/10

woah had busy busy days. yeps and britney got married and then was single again. note the word single. tsk. who gets married to childhood frens anyway?sigh, she so needs a counseller. either that, she needs drugs. much more.

thurs: went over to shir's house. and studied. for like 15 mins. lol kept talkin..explored her house..played wit the com and haha...studied a condom close up. and i even took pics of it *giggle giggle* hah but i din dare touch it. reason? dint want lubricant of THAT sort all over my hands cum notes cum textbook cum pens. :d stayed till 10-11 plus. and yea. went home, cldnt sleep again. but my mom juz refuses to get me the drugs cos guess she thnks i'll abuse it. parents. hmm shall try camomhile tea. oooohhh did i mention rcc's my eng teacher? he rocks!!

fri: hmm. this is kinda personal.actually no one reads blogs anyways yea? but o well nvm.

sat:went 2 sch at 930 thnkin i'd be bored outta my soul for some MALAY creative writing course.

fact #1:it rocked

fact #2:made me learn to appreciate the malay lang. for what it is. haha and i'll def put in more effort from now onwards. :d i love languages/arts subjects...except art itself.

fact #3:i can now say im a perfectionist in malay
saya seorang yang suka kesempurnaan

fact #4:i really love love poetry. tho i admit im nt a gd writer myself, just reading them simply amazes me. haha i realised that whenever i read a poem, and i somehow can imagine exactly how that person feels, i actually start tearin.hahs i don cry. so yea. thats a BIG thng. :) guess poetry where my true self comes out..i don hafta pretend...and everythng is so abstract and open for everyone's judjement..but they'll nv know the truth..its just so..i donno whats the word...er...ethreal yes, thats it, ethreal.
fact #4: the person who conducted the course was my mt teacher's sis. and boy is she a gr8 poet. and her books are so cool. they're bilingual. lol so there's the malay and eng version of the poems.amazin aint it? :d hahas. yay finally somethng i can understand. i like ''potrait of a doll'' or malay:''lukisan boneka'' a lot. but sadly, its in her 2nd book and i received her 1st. oh well..it still rocks. hahas. i see light.

fact #5: i hvnt started studyin yet. in other words. my fate is sealed. im dead. sigh...donno why i cant concentrate and motivate myself. oh wells ad majorem del gloriam! i just love latin. :) and i hate pple who say they love it when they dont know the true beauty of it. *middle finger* argh whatever. im gonna study it someday. and shove it into all these idiotic pple's faces. *smiles* you're goin down, you insane POMPOUS freaks.

fact #6: i decided to aim for SAJC. then, i'll go overseas after JC. and im itchin to be a lawyer. hooray for me.

fact #7:why the hack is my entry in fact form? oh well whatever. language rocks. lit rocks! chem's cool.a math's an ASS that im sooooo itchin to smack.e math's 1/100 of the ass it was before.physics peeps are insane wit insane fashion sense and insane hair.

hmm. i bade thee farewell. and go stare at my books for another hour or so. absorb nothin. come back here, complain till 2am. start writing really good notes till 3am. then knock out. gosh im so predictably boring, its actually fascinating. earth 2 sharan, earth to sharan. HEADSTART'S ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!



2004/01/05

i hate school. i hate my f**kin class. dont understand whats so gr8 abt it. its the worst class ive ever been in. the only pple im truly okay with are adora and jon and some ive known since sec1.actually not really. argh whatever.
[sorry amie, i really hate it]
sigh tuition later, in 20 mins approx. and i soo am not in the mood.
after that, rush lots of hmwk. and revision
pfffft

did i mention my math teacher sucks?
cos she does. so does my physics.

SIGH


anyways, thnkin of droppin amath.
by feb/march.
sigh
`insanely blessed. choose to birth me in sg. yet don get me the brains. -sigh-

2004/01/01

my new yr's resolutions

1) to remember i am worthy of bein loved by God

2)To reaffirm that I am not now, never have been, though i wanna be but never will be a victim.

3)To remember to focus on my studies to forget reality; try aim for a SPECTACULAR score for my o's

4)To go down to 110

5)To find happiness within myself, not thru external validation

6)Care more for my frens, but not neglecting other thngs like 2003

7)To be nice. [actually i could do without this]

8)To finish reading 'Love yourself- self-acceptance and depression'

9)To fight all such thoughts

10)To read at least a quarter of the old testament. so then i'll have 3/4 to go bfore ive read the whole bible once!

11)To achieve the balance between work, play and procrastination.

12)Be myself more when im around myself[gotta stop kidding myself]

13)Grow my hair LONG

14)Save money to buy stuffs only durin the hols.

15)To help others way beyond what i did 2003, i know its bad but i cant help feelin that way..sorry yea

16)To finally be able to keep my new year resolutions FOR ONCE

woah had an *eventful new year. well it was great fun[i cld'a done w/o the waterbombs splattered on me thnx]. just how parties are supposed to be. :d oh wells.
sigh and i din sleep AT ALL two nights in a row. tried to sleep just now but only could like zonk out for a 3 hrs. argh.
must be the stress gettin 2 me. sigh i really don get it. why aint anyone stressed but me? maybe its cos everyone's smart and poor sharan's dduuuuummbbb, as expected. hahs. and amelia knws somethng else eh? :(

*aah, bite me. [literally]

2003/12/31

woah just came back frm my gma's house. been a loong time since i went.
hahs..it kinda brought back loads of memories..mostly sweet..playin arnd wit my cousins and bro..runnin arnd frm place to place..i really kinda miss those days...what i had to give up and evrythng..but its fine and great to revisit it again however borin my day was =)

anyways, shanqi gonna come my house later..and abt 12 plus we're gonna go for a party thngy. hahs..im only goin cos i'd feel sooo guilty turnin down amelia again :p
oh wells...its gonna be sorta a sleepover anyways...so yea...cya guys tmr!
oh and have a happy new yr. hope it lasts...

scattered/hopes design
amie
alicia+ruth
angie
anna
cheuk
chiayin
elaine
elena
jolene
kyer
lianne
mark
moo
natalie
sarah
suzi
taff
tiffany
wendy
my church

methadone pretty